I’m not writing all this as a neighborhood scold just to make you feel rotten. I’m writing as a father to you, my children. I love you and want you to grow up well, not spoiled. There are a lot of people around who can’t wait to tell you what you’ve done wrong, but there aren’t many fathers willing to take the time and effort to help you grow up. It was as Jesus helped me proclaim God’s Message to you that I became your father. I’m not, you know, asking you to do anything I’m not already doing myself. (1 Corinthians 4:14-16 MSG)
Job was familiar with this scenario Paul is describing. He was going through the worst possible time in his life and all of his friends just gathered around to tell him what he was doing wrong. They felt justified in their criticism of him, but this was not needful or helpful. What Job needed was someone to come alongside him and Father him through this time. He needed someone to help him out of the pit rather then kick him while he was down. Paul is pointing some real areas of growth that the church in Corinth needs, but he is doing it based on his deep love for them and his desire for them to grow in Christ. He knows that guilt is a lousy motivator. He also knows a true spiritual father is willing to give two things that many who call themselves leaders are not willing to give: Time and Effort.
When I read this passage I wonder how I am not only fathering the folks in my church, but also in my own home. I think of how angry I was this morning when Justice refused to go back to sleep after waking up at 5:30 and then screamed so loud that he woke up two of his other brothers. Cyndi called me on the carpet and asked me why I get so angry? I realized I wanted to yell, “Stop acting like a baby” at my baby. And truth be told I was the one acting like a baby. I prayed in the shower and could hear the Fathers voice speaking to me and giving me perspective. The Twins’ sleeping pattern has been thrown off ever since the time change and as with every other discipline it will take time and patient effort to retrain their bodies to sleep longer. Am I willing to put that in or do I expect them to fall immediately in line at my command so that my life is not inconvenienced and to prove that I am a good Father because I can make babies sleep longer. The fact of the matter is that I can’t Father anyone fast. Whether in the natural or in the spiritual fathering someone to growth is going to take a lot of time usually when I feel I don’t have enough to give. It will also take a lot of effort usually long after I feel that they should already have this down and I feel too tired or impatient to keep working with them. Cyndi spent three hours straight working with Elijah on some new math homework he is figuring out. Is this how she wanted to spend her evening? No. Is this how I wanted her to spend our evening? Heck no! But, he isn’t going to learn this math unless someone takes the time and effort to walk him through it. So, Cyndi put her big girl pants on and helped him through each an every problem without doing it for him. This whole thing reminds me that I’m the one that needs to be growing up the most. Its kind of like that time when I was yelling at my boys to stop yelling! A reality check to be sure. I need to stop being such a baby and love my family enough, love those in my life enough to take the time and effort required to mature and grow.
Thank You Lord for Your patience with me and how You have taken time and effort throughout my life make me more like Your Son. Thank You for the older ones You have brought around me throughout my life that have shown Your Fathers heart and haven’t given up on me even when I was acting like a baby. Give me Your Fathers heart for my boys and my church. The time You are calling me to invest is a gift from You in the first place and somehow I never run out of time when I am loving like You. The effort You are calling me to give comes from the strength of Your Spirit inside of me. If I am doing this by my own strength then I will run out quickly, but if the joy of the Lord is my strength then I will be able to stick it out with Your kids the same way You stick it out with me. I’m putting my big boy pants on Lord. No more whining and sucking my thumb when things don’t go the way I want them to.
My babies in action:
